In life we can count on the fact that nothing stays the same. We have all been there before, whatever the circumstances are that bring us to the breaking point, we inevitably all come to a crossroads when we decide that we need to make a change. The changes that we are pushed to make or the point of time in our life when these big changes are upon us will differ from person to person, but alas major life shifts are inevitable. Change is hard for most of us and often we resist change, even when we know it is necessary, to get to a better place in our career, personal relationships, physical or mental health or to reach our ultimate happiness. Being uncomfortable or feeling uncertain is something that most people avoid, this is perfectly natural, but if we want to reach certain goals or attain certain levels of happiness, we need to feel this discomfort to push us forward. Knowing and accepting that change is uncomfortable and unavoidable is an important step when making a shift, but what can we do to keep moving forward with confidence?
I have been on my own journey of change (some forced and some by choice) and through this journey have discovered that I want to help as many people to lead their happiest and healthiest lives! As I continue to push past fear and that nagging little (ok sometimes enormous) feeling of doubt I have picked up tools to build self-confidence, become more centered and to continue the forward momentum.
- Lean into change- acknowledge that change is happening and welcome the uncertainty. It is OK to feel uncertain and to be scared so lean into the changes and stay as open as possible to all the opportunities. Good things come from change!
- Don’t fight the discomfort-whether you acquiesce to the uncomfortable feelings that come along with change or fight the feelings (hello Lizard Brain!), the discomfort will be present, which is perfectly natural. Instead of fighting the discomfort you can acknowledge and reframe your feelings to be positive. “Yes, I feel uncomfortable because I am making big changes in my life and I know change can be hard scary as h*ll, but I know that with discomfort comes growth and growth means that I am taking the necessary steps to reach my goals.” When you start to feel a little freak out coming on, come back to your mantra and remember that self-doubt is normal but that you ultimately are in control!
- Learn where your edge is-we all have an edge physically and mentally, and in yoga we often call this “the edge.” The edge is a good place because it means that you are pushing yourself just a little bit further, growing and evolving, but it is good to learn where your edge is and how it feels. When we are in times of high growth and big change, we need to be mindful of this edge. We want to push ourselves to make progress but not push so far that we fall over the edge and can’t get back up. When you know where your edge is you can stop, take a little break and recognize that you don’t need to push any harder at this time. Of course, you can always come back and re-evaluate your edge.
- Breathe-Inhale, exhale…I know it sounds so simple, but being stressed out can affect our breathing leading to a battery of negative side effects on our mind and body. When we are stressed the sympathetic nervous system is activated which raises the heart rate and blood pressure and sends us into “fight or flight response”, in times of high stress we need to activate the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS). The PNS allows the body to conserve energy, rest, digest and repair. Deep breathing will turn on the vagus nerve and stimulate the PNS allowing stress to dissipate, more oxygen to your brain and promoting an overall feeling of calmness. Create a daily practice of mindful breathing and experiment with different techniques that work best for your body, follow the tips in this Harvard Medical School article to create your daily practice.
- Keep some normalcy-change is good and very necessary, but too much change, too fast can send us into shock. Amid major life shifts take stock and evaluate some non-negotiables in your current routine that you know will be invaluable in your future success and make sure to keep them as part of your new life moving forward. For example going on a daily run, a weekly happy hour with friends, nature walks, hiking, cycling, dancing, animals, you name it! What are YOUR activities or interests that bring peace, positivity and genuine happiness? Keep these in your weekly/daily schedule and don’t let it go by the wayside with all the exciting and radical life changes that you are experiencing. I even suggest calendaring these activities (Outlook, Gmail, old school paper and pen planner) in your preferred method to hold yourself accountable. Our bodies crave routine and a happy body is laying the foundation for future success!
By acknowledging that change is hard and an unavoidable natural part of life you are allowing yourself the freedom to embrace change. The uncomfortable feelings and fear that once plagued you are now taking a back seat as you focus on the exciting and limitless possibilities that new circumstances and changes will bring! The former feelings that used to hold you back are replaced with practical, easy to implement techniques that you can keep revisiting when the old feelings of stress and doubt pay you a visit. Remember it is progress over perfection that we are striving for!
Katie Doyle is the President & Founder of Bloom Burst a health and wellness brand offering holistic health coaching and yoga. Bloom Burst focuses on busy women that are ready to regain balance and joy in their lives! Katie is a RYT 200-hour yoga teacher through Yoga Alliance and a certified holistic health coach through the Institute of Integrative Nutrition.